Death, Grief, and Hope: A Christian Reflection
- Lea Patterson
- Sep 10
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 26
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, counselor, or medical professional. The thoughts shared in this blog are based on my personal reflections, my Christian faith, and what I have learned through Scripture. If you are struggling with grief or mental health challenges, I encourage you to seek help from a qualified professional or a trusted pastor.
Death as a Moment of Reflection
Death, for me, is always a moment to pause and reflect on the very essence of life. Every passing of someone I know or even hearing of others who have left this world, strikes me deeply. It causes me to meditate not only on God’s Word but also on the brevity of my own life.
The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 7:4 (NLT):
“A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.”
This verse reminds me that it is wise, not morbid, to acknowledge our mortality. Death is not foreign to me, I often think about it, not with fear, but with the sober reality that one day I, and everyone I love, will reach that point. If we are certain about anything in life, it is that we all must die (Hebrews 9:27).
A Personal Journey Through Loss
I can still remember the first time I lost a loved one. December 4th, 1998 the morning of my 8th birthday. My family and I woke up to the devastating news that my mother’s eldest sister, my Aunt Paula, had passed away. That day changed me forever. Not only was it my first close encounter with death, it came on a day that should have been filled with cake, candles and joy. The family hadn’t experienced death in a while, so the grief hit us like a wave we weren’t prepared for. My parents were crushed, and my grandmother could barely cope. I remember sitting on the stairs in our home, a little girl with a big heart and a sharp mind, trying to process it all. I analyzed the emotions around me such as shock, tears, silence and even anger, wondering how something so final could happen. My mother’s mourning meant my birthday plans were canceled, understandably so. Yet my father, ever mindful of me, quietly slipped away, returning later with Barbie dolls and clothing for my collection. That small act of love lit up a very dark day and taught me that even in grief, moments of kindness can shine like candles. Later, I remember the discussions about shipping my aunt’s body from Atlanta, Georgia, to Miami, Florida.
As a child, I wrestled with that concept, how could someone I loved be “shipped”? My mind and heart tried to grasp what death really meant.
A few years later, I lost my maternal grandmother, the woman I was closest to outside of my parents. My grandparents meant the world to me. At her funeral, I hardly remember the details, perhaps I disassociated, trying to escape the pain. My grandfather passed about a year later, and I’ve often wondered if he died of heartbreak.
Over the years, I’ve lost uncles and aunts, but one of the hardest was my Aunt Linda, my mom’s youngest sister. She was full of life, wisdom, and a little mischief. She taught me lessons I wasn’t “supposed” to know at the time, but those truths shaped me. I could write a book about her impact. Losing her felt like a page torn from my story, yet somehow it pushed me into a new chapter."
(Growing up, I admired my Aunty Linda’s iconic style, which I believe still influences my fashion choices now.)
Before her passing, I experienced another devastating loss, my nephew, only 23 years old. The circumstances around his death remain unclear and troubling, which only deepened the grief.
And then, most recently, about three weeks ago, I lost someone I genuinely considered a big brother,
Roland Carter.
Roland’s funeral or “homegoing,” as we call it in our church, revealed to me the treasure of a person I always knew him to be. He was a man of God who loved, encouraged, and protected those around him. He carried so much talent, much of which he only began to scratch the surface of. He and I bonded deeply over our shared love for production and scriptwriting. Standing there, reflecting on his life, I was reminded that time is short. His passing didn’t just break my heart, it prompted me to write this very blog, my first one ever. And it’s a bit ironic, if you will, that just a few weeks before Roland passed away, I preached a message for the youth called “The Wages of Sin”
an original two-part storyline I had created about the death of young people and where they went after death as a result of the life they lived. I had actually flown in from out of the country, where I live part-time, specifically to deliver that message. I even asked Roland to join me for a section of it, but he wasn’t quite prepared, so I ended up doing it myself. In that message, I spoke candidly about death but also about the eternal beauty of life in Christ, the joy and peace that awaits those who die in Him.
That message struck the youth powerfully, especially since Roland was one of their beloved teachers. His sudden passing reminded them, and all of us, that death can come suddenly and unexpectedly. But it also reassured them that Roland entered eternal life with Christ. It was a sobering, powerful lesson: life is fragile, time is short, and the best way to be prepared is to abide in Christ.
I don’t know when I’ll be leaving this earth, but I carry a burning desire to die empty, having given all that I can, my love, my gifts, my testimony. Most importantly, I want my legacy to be Christ Jesus—the testimony of Jesus Christ Himself. Like Thomas declared, ‘My Lord and my God,’ I want my life to point to Him. And when my physical death comes, I pray that the life I’ve lived will lead others to find new life in Christ.
The Eternal Question
What happens after physical death? That question has stirred humanity since the beginning of time. Personally, I’ve been deeply impacted by countless near-death experiences, especially those in which people testified of encountering hell and being resuscitated. These stories are sobering reminders of the eternal price of rejecting Christ’s gift.
The Apostle Paul wrote:“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”— Romans 6:23 (NLT) If we choose not to accept Jesus’ sacrifice, we bear the eternal weight ourselves. But if we trust Him, we pass from death to everlasting life, never to taste the “second death” described in Revelation 20:14. This is my comfort: when my body returns to the dust, my soul will awaken in eternal life with Christ.
The Reality of Grief
Even with faith, grief is real. When death touches our lives, we feel pain, loss, and even confusion. The Bible acknowledges this. Jesus Himself wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35). Grief takes many forms:
Denial or shock – difficulty accepting the loss.
Anger – toward circumstances, people, or even God.
Bargaining – asking “what if” questions.
Depression – sadness, loneliness, and longing.
Acceptance – peace in reality, even if sorrow remains.
Psychologists often describe these as the “stages of grief,” but in truth, grief is not linear. People may experience these stages in different orders, or revisit them at unexpected times
Walking Through Grief with Hope
As Christians, we grieve but not as those without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13–14). Here are some ways to walk through grief faithfully:
Lean on God’s Word – Meditate on promises like Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Pray Honestly – Tell God your raw emotions. He can handle your questions, tears, and anger.
Find Christian Community – Surround yourself with those who will comfort, pray, and support you.
Celebrate Their Life – Reflect on the good memories and the legacy of love left behind.
Hold to Eternity – Remember that in Christ, death does not have the final word.
Final Encouragement
Death is a sobering reminder that life is short, but for the believer, it is not the end, it is the doorway to eternal peace. It should move us to live wisely, love deeply, and trust fully in Jesus Christ, the Resurrection and the Life (John 11:25).
When death strikes close to home, it hurts. But even in our grief, we can cling to the hope of the gospel, knowing that we will one day be reunited with our loved ones in Christ and spend eternity with our Savior.
Resources for Further Comfort & Understanding
Bible Gateway – Ecclesiastes 7:4
Bible Gateway – Romans 6:23
Bible Gateway – Revelation 20:14
Focus on the Family – Hope in Grief
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” — Matthew 5:4
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